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Internal choices are more powerful than external forces.  In other words, deciding for yourself that  you will do something is incredibly more motivating than someone else telling you to do it.  Choosing your every action is one of the biggest factors of true fulfillment, no matter what you have set out to do.  However, getting to the point where you feel as though every action is actually a choice is incredibly difficult.

Many days I find myself in a dangerous routine of forced action.  I feel compelled to complete a list of to-dos, chores, or assigned tasks.  At work or at home, it makes no difference.  If I feel forced into completing something I give less effort and I eventually become bitter about the task altogether.  This obligatory feeling does not consume every moment of my life but it does happen in some form nearly every day.  Is it possible to avoid feeling like your life is an endless list of errands and annoying post-it notes?  Of course.  You just have to make the choice.

Choices and Chores

Every weekend I create a list of the many things I want to accomplish in those two incredibly short days.  I include everything I want to do and everything I feel obligated to see through.  Without fail, I do the (more…)

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Six months ago I didn’t know anything about food.  I did not have any real knowledge about how food was grown, raised, processed, treated, tested, evaluated, studied, scrutinized, labeled, packaged, distributed, or consumed.  I lacked a fundamental understanding of what I put in my mouth every day.  From birth to age twenty five I had trained myself to shovel food into my stomach as quickly as possible and in the highest quantity I could withstand.  I knew how to eat fast and I knew how to eat a lot.  It didn’t matter what was on my plate or how big the plate was, I could and would consume it, regardless of the consequences.  When it came to eating you could say that I was a meat-head of sorts.  I exercised a little, which was enough justification in my head to eat what I wanted.  I made mental trade-offs every day.  I thought that if I exercised enough it would balance out any bad food that I might have consumed throughout the week.

When I went to the grocery store I would buy the same foods I always bought with little to no consideration of potential health benefits or risks.  I was on autopilot every week.  I ate the same foods for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and for each (more…)

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Lately, I have been experiencing extreme waves of doubt with every action I take.  I doubt the city I live in, the job I have, my so-called passion for running marathons, even my desire to write the book I’ve been working on for over a year.  I had a birthday recently and it seemed like just another day.  However, the day after I went to work angry.  I mean really, really angry.  I had no reason to feel that way.  There was no catalyst, no circumstance, no tragedy, mishap, or situation that could have sparked such animosity towards the world.  But, I felt angry anyway.  Does a person need a reason to feel angry?  Do I need a good reason to doubt everything I do?  No.  But it helps.  I want a reason.  I want to know why I feel the way I do.  I hate when I experience an emotion, a pain, or have any circumstance occur where I can’t nail down the cause immediately.  It’s like when you have a vague headache and you can’t describe with any detail to your doctor what hurts or where.  You know your head doesn’t feel normal and it’s driving you crazy, but you can’t seem to put your finger on it.  That’s exactly what this doubt thing is doing to me.  I have no real reason to feel the way I do, but it’s destroying my ability to function.

So, what options do I have?  Is there a magic doubt pill I can take?  Will my doctor prescribe me some adrenaline pumping Adoral if I just keep asking for it?  Will it do me any good?  I am in search of any answer about what direct action I can take to solve this doubt riddle.  I want my life to have meaning and I want to have the ability and desire to solve every problem that comes my way.  This vague problem, however, is not a dilemma to be solved with a one-two punch.  I have to dig deep.  I have to look for an answer in places I don’t normally look because this is a problem I don’t normally experience.  I am a confident guy.  I know what I want, when I want it, and I can bring those thoughts to life at the drop of a hat.  Doubt is a problem, a common one, and it can be solved by going back to the basics.

Principles

I live my life by principles.  I do the right thing when I know what it is.  I choose the (more…)

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Accidents happen.  Your life, however, shouldn’t be one of them.  When I imagine someone who truly embodies a graduated and clueless lifestyle, I picture a wanderer, someone with no direction, no purpose, and no real understanding of anything beyond the present moment.  This person probably has a history of success and productivity but for one reason or another has no real focus at the moment.  In addition, this clueless chap has no idea how to begin the journey to discover a future life worth pursuing.  Don’t get me wrong, living in the present is the best and only way to live.  All life is lived in the present.  The past is a memory and the future is a projection, both of which only exist in our mind and that take us away from the present moment.  Therefore, the goal is to make our present moment more useful, more productive, more purposeful, driven, and meaningful.  Ultimately, your mission is to live with great intention in all things you do.  Living on purpose is grounded in clarity of thought, clarity of intention, and clarity of action.

Clarity of Thought

Thinking is not natural.  In fact, real hard core thinking is a very refined skill that most people rarely engage in.  In order to utilize the vast power of (more…)

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Life is based around your ability and willingness to serve others.  It may not seem that way as you grow up because most people are serving you.  As a kid, your parents put you first, or at least they should.  In school, your teachers make every effort to help you grow.  However, as you’ve probably noticed, in the real world and in business, you don’t have an advocate.  You don’t have someone holding your hand through the process.  You’re on your own and you have to make the experience amazing for yourself.  The most direct, efficient, and effective way to maximize your own experience is to focus on other people.  It sounds backwards but it works every time.  Think about exercise where you actually tear down your muscles in order for your body to repair them.  It seems counter intuitive, but the result is that your muscles grow back stronger than before.  In order to reach the life that you want, whether in your career, finances, relationships, physical ability, or otherwise, always find ways to put others before yourself and you’ll be amazed at the results.

Help Your Boss

Want to get ahead in your job?  Stop doing things your way.  Go to your boss right now and ask them (more…)

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I recently finished reading the book, GOALS! – How to Get Everything You Want Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy.  It’s a fantastic book if you’re at all interested in using your time wisely, staying focused, and accomplishing a ton of stuff.  In the book Brian discusses many ways to create goals that really allow you to reach your true potential instead of wasting your time on goals that don’t get you what you want.  If you’re stuck in a job you can’t stand, or are currently in the market for changing your life direction, or you simply want to double check that you’re actually on the correct life path, check out the goal-setting strategy below.  I’ve modified one of Brian’s strategies, so please credit him for this idea.  It’s an incredible exercise in figuring out what really matters and focusing on those things every day.  Let me know in the comments below what you think about it and what you would change.

Awesome Goal Setting Strategy

As you create each of the lists below, always write your dreams, goals, and strategies in the present tense and (more…)

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Writing snuck up on me as a thing that I now do.  I never considered myself a writer and I never would have guessed that I would have started a blog, be in the midst of writing a book, or actually planning a career based on new ways to connect with others through my writing.  It’s a whirlwind of newness and awesomeness that I stumbled upon a few years after college.  I’ve been writing all my life but always for someone else, teachers mostly.  I spent years writing essays, short stories, plays, articles, and other knick knack pieces for school and work assignments.

I started a journal three different times and I’ve never maintained it for more than a couple weeks.  I don’t do journals.  It doesn’t work for me to simply sit and write about my life in hopes that I can garner some insight into my (more…)

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Bold action is the one remedy for really obnoxious problems.  It gets you out of bed in the morning.  It eliminates mediocrity.  It produces success that you have been dreaming about.  However, bold action requires risk taking, bravery, and a willingness to fail.  Being willing to put yourself on the line for what you care about and believe in is one of the fundamental building blocks of bold action.  In the last few months of my life I have experienced radical change and vast improvement in many areas, due in no small part to my own willingness to take bold action as often as possible.  What is bold action?  It’s doing the big stuff, the hard stuff, the stuff that you know will change your life but that you have put off due to any number of excuses.  Bold action is difficult.  It’s time consuming, expensive, risky, and may back fire on you for any number of reasons.  Why would anyone want to take bold action?  Because it get results every time.  Seriously.  Bold action will almost always produce a result that teaches you a grand lesson, creates enormous success, or at least provides the basis for a really great story to tell your grand kids someday.

Characteristics of Bold Action

What does bold action look like?  Could you recognize bold action if you saw it happening?  Could you see (more…)

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Immediately following graduation you will most likely find yourself wandering one big question, what’s next?  At the end of every semester, sometimes immediately following my last final exam, I would have this pit-in-the-stomach feeling that I had forgotten something.  I would have a mild panic attack and freak out as my mind and body came to terms with the fact that I was actually done with everything and could relax.  After your last semester of college you have every right to relax completely.  Don’t worry about what’s next, just yet.  This is the best time take up yoga, watch a good movie, go on vacation to Costa Rica, or lay out at the pool until you’re extra crispy.  Your parents will be hounding you to get a job, but don’t do that.  Seriously.  Take some time to chill out.  After you feel fully rejuvenated, and when you’re ready, begin to work through the next 3 steps.  Over the next few years just let your life take the course you were destined for.  Do your best to ignore advice from parents or anyone else who you believe doesn’t understand you.  This is your time to do some serious soul searching.  Getting a job at a bank just to please your parents won’t do you any good.

“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance;

it is the illusion of knowledge.”

- Daniel J. Boorsti

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I was recently introduced to an online service that I wish I had known about in school.  It’s called Student of Fortune and it’s a web-based tutoring service for college students to get help with their homework.  Anyone can join the site as a tutor and then as you answer questions for the students you get paid.  Here’s the description from the company:

“If you’re a student, just post a question you’re struggling with. We’ll send your question to all of the tutors on Student of Fortune, and those expert in the subject will write custom tutorials to teach you how to answer your difficult homework assignment (and others like it). Pick a tutorial that looks good, buy it, follow up with questions until your aha! moment, learn the material, and ace all of your classes!  If you’re expert on a subject, write great tutorials to earn lots of money, even thousands of dollars… all for helping students to learn!” StudentofFortune.com

This business model is very fascinating and (more…)

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It’s Our 1-Year Anniversary!

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Today marks the official 1-Year Anniversary for Graduated And Clueless!  Yeah!  This blog and website have been through numerous changes and seen significant growth over the last year.  In the beginning I set out to provide advice for clueless college grads, hoping to offer practical and insightful information that you could put to use immediately.  One year later I am more committed than ever to providing material and resources that contribute real value to every reader.  I have been blogging about life after college, personal development, careers, finances, health, and many more seemingly random topics, though I usually do try to write about stuff people actually care about.  The response to the site and the blog posts have been wonderful and I’m very excited about all the updates to come in the next year!  To catch up on what has happened recently you can check out my this post.  As for things to come, I’ll be unveiling new stuff periodically and probably without notice.  The only thing you will definitely know about ahead of time is the launch of the book.  To stay completely in the know you can subscribe to the email newsletter.

Graduated And Clueless has developed right along with me as I’ve experienced life as consciously as possible.   To further the (more…)

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The most effective way to try anything new is with the expectation that it will be temporary.  Trying new things forces you to overcome fears, jump into the unknown, and risk failure.  Knowing that something new will only last a few weeks will allow you to open up fully to the experience.  In the last few months I have completed a few 30-Day Trials and they have been incredibly successful.  30 Days is a great time frame because a month seems so short, yet it has just enough time to allow you to form a new habit, adjust to a new lifestyle, or even make a positive, powerful, and permanent change in how you live.  If you attempt something new just once, you don’t really know how it could affect your life on a daily basis.  Having the time minimum of a certain number of days forces you to continue past the initial wall of fear and judgment.  30 Days lets you open your mind to the possibility of you living with your new decision on a permanent basis.

The real goal of a 30-Day Trial is personal growth.  You want to be able learn from the experience, increase your self-awareness, and come away with new knowledge that makes you one step closer to (more…)

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As a part of TLC Book Tours I had the opportunity to read and review Tim Daniel’s new book, The Pursuit of Nobility.  As the author describes his book, it’s about liberation.  It’s about a personal journey to free yourself from the massive amount of people who are simply sustaining society, and join those who are pushing society forward.  Tim describes the Nobility as problem solvers, creators, and seekers of a greater challenge.  Here at Graduated And Clueless I write blog posts about personal development, growth, and topics beyond the simple job search.  The Pursuit of Nobility closely aligns with my mission as it addresses a higher calling in life, beyond maintenance, above the crowd, and into a whole new world where the Nobles cause real world change.

One of the most fundamental questions in life, and especially important to recent and clueless grads, is why?  Why am I here?  And if I ever figure that out, how will I achieve what I am supposed to?  Tim Daniel addresses these topics head on in a way I have never heard before.  The calling of the Nobility is not for everyone, but if it’s yours, (more…)

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GAC Updates and New Stuff

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What Can I Do For You?

What should I write about next?  I love creating content for this blog and I hope that the topics I choose are interesting to you, but I’d love to know what you want to read.  This blog is not just here as an online diary, though it may seem like that sometimes.  I’m here to provide you with any advice, commentary, feedback, or gibberish that I can.  Leave a comment below or contact me directly and let me know what I can do for you.

BUSINESS STUFF

Post Archives

I have recently included a brand new post archives page so you can venture back to the beginning of the blog and read each and every post if you’d like.  I’ve noticed a pattern over time: the newer posts are getting better and offer different info.  It’s just my opinion, but I’d like to think I’m improving.  The old stuff offers advice I don’t write about as much anymore.  If you’d like me to (more…)

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What is a Green Smoothie?

In one word, Awesome!  It’s my new addiction.  Green smoothies have forced me to rethink my entire diet.  I also just finished the book, In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan, which thoroughly convinced me that I’ve been thinking about food completely backwards for my entire life.  A green smoothie fits right in with Pollan’s suggestions and even takes the convenience factor of healthy fast food to another level.  According to Wikipedia, a green smoothie is “a smoothie or beverage made by blending green leafy vegetables, such as spinach or kale, other vegetables such as broccoli, and fruit with water or ice. To balance flavor and nutrition the typical ratio in a green smoothie is about 60% fruit to 40% leafy greens.”  Essentially, it’s a healthy, nutritious, and tasty way to consume the stuff you may not get enough of in your normal diet.  If you’ve ever been to Smoothie King or even created your own traditional fruit smoothie at home, it’s essentially the same thing, only you eliminate refined sugars and add in fresh vegetables.

 

Here’s Why You’ll LOVE Eating Green Smoothies

 

1. Deliciousness

A few weeks ago I created my first green smoothie at home and it turned out much better than I anticipated.  I was nervous it would taste like vegetables did when I was a kid, really really gross and disgusting and yucky.  I was wrong.  It was delicious, thanks to the fruit.  Natural sugar does wonders for rather stale and bland foods.  Depending on your blender, (more…)

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How to Survive Unexpected Expenses

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My wife and I were recently smacked with a $3,000 dental bill.  We never saw it coming.  One routine dental check-up turned into a near catastrophe that could have completely wiped out our monthly budget and lifestyle.  Fortunately, we were blessed with a larger than normal tax refund this year and managed to cover the bill in full without too much hassle.  If it wasn’t for the tax refund, we may have faced some difficult decisions.  In the past we have faced similar experiences, some we overcame and others we’re still dealing with.

Last summer, just a short time before moving to Nashville from Boston, I quit my job under bad circumstances and found myself unemployed for the fourth time in two years.  Not a great track record, I know.  This time was different because I was only a few short months from getting married and I was responsible for more than myself.  I had debt from Boston I was still trying to pay, new bills from the new apartment, and a savings account that wouldn’t last me more than a couple weeks.  At that point, every bill seemed unwanted and unexpected, and I was unable to pay.  Needless to say, times were tight.  I managed to delay some payments by applying for a hardship deferral, my parents kicked in some, my wife’s parents kicked in some more, and I searched for jobs faster than ever.  Within six weeks I was working again and had narrowly escaped major financial turmoil. (more…)

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How to Grow a Sexy Beard

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Beards have been a part of every society since the beginning of time.  Beards carry strong cultural meaning and are typically sources of great power.  Beards are cool.  Beards give you an incredible swagger.  Beards can be sexy, if grown properly.  There are at least 15 different styles of beards (according to Wikipedia) with common characteristics, though you could always customize your own style.  The 15 styles include the full, chinstrap, sideburns, Donegal, Garibaldi, Goatee, Junco, Hollywoodian, Reed, Royale, Stubble, Van Dyke, Verdi, Neck beard (Neard), Soul Patton, Mutton Chops, and Stashburns.  For our purposes we’ll focus on the George Clooney, which I’m identifying as halfway between the stubble and the full.  George Clooney has won People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive award twice, so I think he’s qualified to represent a sexy beard.  I have some personal interest in this blog post because I have recently begun growing my own beard.  I’ll post pictures if I don’t turn into a yeti.

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around

beardless—boys and women—and I am neither one.”

- Greek saying

According to Wikipedia, “In the course of history, men with facial hair have been ascribed various attributes such as wisdom and knowledge, sexual virility, masculinity, or high social status; and, (more…)

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The first weekend of May was supposed to include my first experience running the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon.  Well . . . my plans changed.  Instead, I spent three days stranded in a flood – literally.  I wasn’t clinging to a tree awaiting a rescue from the Coast Guard (which some people experienced firsthand), I was stranded in my apartment without cell phone service, internet, cable TV, and sometimes we lost power all together.  A couple weeks ago I had to cancel my marathon in Cincinnati because of a scheduling fiasco, financial limitations, and a startling realization at the Country Music Half Marathon that I wasn’t prepared for a full 26.2 miles.  You can read about the half marathon experience here.  I changed my plans for the weekend to include hanging out with my wife Tessa and our friend Kendall who drove up to Nashville from Chattanooga.  I knew the forecast included a few days of rain, but I wasn’t initially prepared for a catastrophic flood.  After the highway flooded, Kendall was stuck with us for the duration of the storm.  We made it work with lots of eating, reading, and trips to the Redbox for lots of new movies.

The Great Flood of Middle Tennessee

The flood, which brought in more than 17 inches of rain in some areas, caused widespread damage in the Nashville area and around (more…)

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Last weekend I completed my first competitive 1/2 marathon.  I ran the Country Music Marathon in Nashville, which is part of the Rock ‘n’ Roll series of marathons held all across the US.  My first reaction to the event?  “WOOOOOOO!!!”  Those were my exact words as I crossed the finish line and that’s what I yelled out multiple times throughout the race.  I never viewed running as a social event until now.  Running shoulder-to-shoulder with 36,000 other people is quite an experience, one that I won’t soon forget.  Despite the fear of looming storms, which caused a few issues for the full-marathoners, the race was nearly flawless. 

My previous experiences with competitive races were great, but this was positively amazing!  One of the joys of huge events like this is the (more…)

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Successful people are very similar.  It doesn’t matter what industry they work in or what passion they’re pursuing, there are a few shared habits that nearly all successful people possess.  Habits are some of the most powerful forces in your life and it is incredibly easy to predict your future based on your recurring choices.  For our purposes we’ll define habits as a recurring pattern of behavior.  In other words, your actions.  It’s not just what you do, but what you do OFTEN that will inevitably determine your destiny.  In terms of success, I’ll use Earl Nightingale’s classic definition: “the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”  In other words, your repeated progress towards something noble makes you successful.  By this definition, success is not an end destination, but instead it is something to be achieved on a daily basis.  That is why habits are so incredibly powerful, because they determine your level of success.  Ideally, you will make daily progress towards goals you have pre-determined to be worthy in your life. (more…)

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