You have less control than you think.
You have more control than you could ever imagine.
Both of these statements are true at the same time. The difference lies in which you believe at any given moment. As Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
You don’t get to decide whether or not you go to college, or if you will become a published author, or if you will one day become a senator. Each of these great goals are decided by someone else or a bunch of someone elses. The Great Distinction, as I call it, is the division in life between the things you can control 100% versus everything else.
Due to massive technological innovation in recent years, many people now have power their never once had. This is both breathtakingly empowering and immensely daunting at the same time. Though you now have the ability to redefine your future, so does everyone else. What this means for you is that you get to decide who you want to be, up to a point. This breaking point is the division between what you can do for yourself and what others will eventually have to decide for you.
Your goal is to focus on the things you can control and work really, really hard to see them through – while simultaneously letting everything else go.
This can become a hazy discussion, so let’s dive in a little deeper and flesh this out.
What You Can Influence
There are many areas of life that you think you can control, but the end result is actually determined by another person, system, or natural force.
To get more specific, senators must be elected by voters; authors must be selected by publishers; college hopefuls must be allowed into the University of their choice by bigwigs with PhDs.
You might believe that you control whether or not you can get into college – or that you already did control that process. However, any college administrator knows that students never make that decision. Ultimately, the school has to accept their applicants individually and they can reject anyone that want, for any reason.
Where does that leave you?
You must influence the college administrators to let you in.
You must persuade the voters to cast their ballots in your direction.
You must network yourself into a publishing house and make deals behind the curtain to even have a chance in hell of ever getting your manuscript even skimmed over. Can you tell I’ve been through this process?
The end result in all of these situations is ultimately determined by another force outside yourself. You can work like mad to position yourself and still be turned away. Alternatively, you can use minimal effort and make big things happen. The trick is to know when you have control and when you don’t. Learn to recognize when you have given your all and when you can just let go. Acknowledge that you have done all you can – and relax.
This is tough for a control-freak like myself. The idea of letting someone else control my future is scary, unnerving, and disruptive to my goal achievement persona. However, knowing when to cool down and move on is just as important as knowing when you ramp up the effort and kick some butt.
This is a process. Your skill will improve with time. Just breathe.
What You Can Control
You do have more control than you think.
When things don’t go your way, how do you normally respond?
This is where most people give up, blame others, and become Negative Nancy’s for far too long.
It’s human nature to believe that your misfortunes are caused by other people. It’s easy to push the blame onto someone else. It’s easy to believe that you didn’t become successful because you had bad luck.
It’s not easy to look in the mirror at the person who has the power to fix the problem at hand. However, once you realize that you have the ability to make enormous progress, without anyone’s permission, the tables begin to turn.
Time to Move
From starting a blog, to running a marathon, to educating yourself with powerful how-to books – you have the ability to start and finish many, many things without a gatekeeper holding you back.
No one has to elect you mayor of the city to write a book on politics.
No one has to approve your daily schedule application to begin waking up at 5 am for a good workout.
No one has the power to stand between you and your dreams – except you.
Hard to Believe
It’s ridiculously empowering to realize that you have the power, right now, to begin working on your lifelong dreams. It’s so damn exciting to start work on something you have been longing to do, especially when the barrier of entry is zero.
If this concept is difficult to accept, I get it. It’s hard to believe that you can become a billionaire without a college degree – but it happens.
It’s hard to believe that homeless men can build businesses that change the world – but it happens all the time.
It’s hard to believe that the “rags to riches” stories are real – but the American dream is alive and well.
Just Start
Surprisingly, to begin this process all you have to do is start. Move in the direction of success and keep moving.
Hoping for success puts you in a weak position. Making real progress simply requires focused effort that begins now.
You can control more than you imagine. Don’t let the stuff that’s out of your control cloud your thoughts.
You can change your life today.
Just start.
